What can I say,
that hasn`t already been said,
about what bonds me to you.
Parent and child. Mother and son.
All I know is that on most days it feels like
that the body that once held all of you,
is no match for the emotions
that come along with mothering you.
It doesn’t come easy to me,
this complete surrender, this sentimentality.
I rail against it,
and yet mostly, I fail against it.
Even on my worst days as a mother,
when I hate everything about being one,
(and yes, there are many)
my love for you is deep,
undone.
And I have learned to separate,
the mothering from the ”motherhood”.
(I am mom, not Mother Teresa)
the reality from the expectations,
the self from the judgement,
the truth from the clichés.
Know that I cannot offer you perfection;
rather I WILL NOT offer you perfection.
But I will offer you a love as faulty as myself.
My whole self.
For the rest of my days.
Madhu Arora 